Home Party Lessons
I’ve run three big home parties at my present house over the last few years and they were all pretty successful. Successful meaning nobody got too drunk that they crashed their cars or barfed inside my home, nobody got into any arguments or fights and the overall party clean ups for me the mornings after were relatively quick and painless.
I’m planning my next home party for either summer or fall and although past parties were successful, I think the next one can be improved upon. There were definitely some interesting but important lessons learned from my past three home party events.
One of them is not to leave beer in the fridge. For some reason, many people are shy of opening up my fridge and as a result, I was left with nearly a full case of beer that went unused. I’m not a beer drinker so I had to deal with a case of beer here for quite a long time. I’ve since learned that if I leave bottles of beer out on the kitchen counter or in the sink (filled with ice), people would be much more eager to consume them. People do like beer, but not left in my fridge for some reason.
So this was a good lesson and it applied to white wine as well, ie., don’t expect people to get anything from my fridge. Best to leave it out on the kitchen counter.
But the most important lessons I learned had more to do with who to actually invite and not to invite.
Who To Invite To Next Home Party
I have enough people to invite among friends and members of my Meetup groups to the next party. In fact, I have much more on the potential invitation list than I have physical space here at home. On the surface, this might seem bad since I cannot accommodate everyone but after some thought, I now realize that some people deserve to be on the invite list more than others. So here are the folks I really should keep on the primary invite list not in any particular order.
Long time friends: these are the people who stayed with me over the years and they should definitely be tops on the invite list. Even the ones busy with young families whom I previously left off the list, should probably be invited (as long as they are able to get babysitters). I don’t expect many to be able to come but at least the gesture would be appreciated by them. This would be a gesture on my part that I’m thinking of them.
Biggest regular supporters of my Meetup groups: these are the people who really make my Meetup groups happen. Without them, my Meetup groups would just be a constant flow of new faces each event who we never see again, ie., a revolving door of faces we never really get to know.
Most active ski students: this is a new group for me to include on my invitation list. It’s because of them that I am able to have my ski expenses covered and share my winter passion with others.
These three main groups of people really deserve to be invited. Now let’s look at the categories of people who should be left off the invite list this time around.
People Who Should Not Be Invited To A Home Party
As bad as this might seem, it is learning who should NOT be invited again that makes up the most important lessons learned from past home parties. In the past, I was too open to allowing just about anyone from my Meetup groups to come to my parties since they were official Meetup events. I’ve since learned that this was a mistake so here are the groups of people who will not get an invitation again.
This would definitely imply that just because some people have attended my parties in the past, it does not necessarily mean that they will automatically get another invitation to a future event.
Annoying people: this is the top group to leave off the invite list. Fortunately there were not too many from this category but there was the odd person whom my other guests considered annoying and rude. I cannot have anyone potentially causing uncomfortable social situations, especially for my female guests, anymore at my parties. This is where I should not invite anyone until I’ve known them for some time in order to know what type of character he/she really is.
Socially awkward: this is another group of people I must leave off the invite list. Shy people are okay but when it becomes extreme to a point where they just cannot function well in a social situation and as a result, may not have a good time, a home party would not be a good place for them. They would be too much work for me as a host as I would have to spend more time catering to these people just to make sure they are okay throughout the evening. When some individuals are too socially awkward, it has the potential to create some uncomfortable social situations with others as well. It’s really too bad because these types of people are not bad folks. It’s just that they do not fit in, at least with this home party atmosphere.
Self centered people: we have unfortunately had a few of these people. These were folks who came to have a good time but eventually over time showed that they really don’t care about other people except themselves. Although they functioned well in parties, they really did not show much gratitude in my efforts to run these home parties. These are not really true friends as they would never make any real efforts to show that they actually give a darn about our friendships. In fact, some of these previous guests have not been seen again since coming to our parties.
So I’ve learned that just because some people are friendly in nature, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they actually care about your friendship. We never see them reciprocate in any way as they are just takers. I’ll never get any invitations from them to go to any event they host.
Meanwhile, there are genuine people out there who are the true friends and supporters. Since I do have limited space available at my house, I can be more picky on choosing who to invite and not to invite next time.
I would imagine that as I apply these lessons learned, the next home party will not only be more successful, but I will feel a deeper satisfaction that I did something to continue nourishing the real friendships rather than just hold another big social event.
